Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s here now, writing to you.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s still here.

What can help me fall asleep at night?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

I had run out of hope.

How do I get off Paxil?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

And the sadness?

Why are American university students fine with sharing a room?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

The sadness was still there.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

If everyone in Russia dropped into holes in the ground only never to return, would that be good for NATO and international peacekeepers? Can we convince Russians to be less diabolical, so they coexist? Does Putin stink like doo doo in the commode?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why do narcissists devour so much sugar (candy, ice cream, donuts, etc., in huge amounts at a time)?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why are North Carolina Democrats against Mark Robinson? He is the modern Martin Luther King Jr. and the Democrats are being stupid for not voting him.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

You are like me, then.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What is the most popular song that includes the word "you"? Are there any other songs that use "you" multiple times?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Be who you already are.

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Why do I sweat (mostly on face) when I eat usually spicy food?

I was tired of fighting.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.